Summer visit - a triumph! Though a bit shorter than usual:)

In some ways, parenting from another house or even another state is no different than "normal" parenting. Just when we think we've got it all figured out and have a system down, our kids go and change on us.

I've always wanted my son to spend as much time with me at my house as possible. I like to let him feel the rhythm of my life, to enjoy a sense of normalcy with me as I enjoy the daily minutiae of feeding, bathing, and disciplining that I so rarely get to partake in. Used to be easy to entertain him, at home or out and about. There are tons of activities for little kids in every city, and for an active boy like Oscar, a simple playground could occupy him for hours.

We've also nailed down the travel logistics: which airline is his favorite (Virgin - the tv screens are THIS BIG and you can play games), who should not bring him to the airport (his dad - it makes Oscar sad), what time of day he should arrive (redeye flight arriving in the morning, that way he arrives a bit tired for his first day and can hopefully sleep his first night), and so on.
I even arranged to have extra time with him this vacation. But now that he's 12, everything has changed in all the usual predictable adolescent ways that still somehow take parents by surprise. Structured activities don't interest him, time with his friends does. He likes to sleep and play video games pretty much endlessly. He enjoys doing things without me, whether it's going to play soccer at the nearby field, running to the store, or staying put by himself in the house while I go run errands or visit a friend.

All this to say that it was clear after even a few days that my intention of spending the entire summer with him, mom and son, was clearly not in the cards for us:) I gave him the choice of enrolling him in a summer camp here in NYC to prevent him from being totally bored, or letting him fly back early to spend summer with his friends - with a visit from me coming a bit sooner than usual. Need I say there was no contest there?

We had an incredible visit though, with lots of games (UNO, Monopoly, Poker, Go Fish), a bit of travel and visiting with family (DC fireworks for 4th of July with my sister), catching up with my friends who like to visit with him, serious conversations (more on those in another post), fabulous movies (the new Karate Kid, Knight and Day, Twilight Eclipse - though for the record a 12yo boy says there was "too much drama" in that one), some learning experiences, and a great deal of lovely togetherness that is irreplaceable.

One of the many keys to parenting with love and sanity is flexibility. Another is good communication. I call this summer vacation a triumph on both counts!!